Chance the Rapper said in his song "All We Got" (ft Kanye West) that at the end of the day, music is all we got, and he was right.

At the end of the day, when I can't sleep and I'm lying on my back staring at the ceiling, and trying not to cry, and failing miserably; or I'm lying on my stomach staring outside, again trying not to cry, again failing miserably; or I can't take the weight of the silence anymore and decide to ignore my shitty vision and go outside and sit under a streetlight because that's the only way I can convince myself that maybe I'm not all alone in this bleak black world

At the end of the day, when my people cup is empty (although to be honest there's rarely anything in there at any point) and I go to a corner and wish I could perform a Disillusionment Charm on myself (yes, I love Harry Potter, thanks) and blend into my surroundings so no one will see me sitting by myself and feel sorry for me because oh, she looks so lonely, because I actually really really am but you don't need to know that because I'm already sorry enough for myself as it is, thanks

At the end of the day, when my best friend has most likely gone to bed and I forget to be annoyed at the other best friend for still not letting me know that he's back in Jamaica, when I lie to my mother and tell her that yes, I'm okay, because she has enough to worry about without adding to the list her child's constant depression and anxiety and an ever-strengthening urge to just topple my king and tell God, or whoever the fuck I'm playing against, that You fucking win because I'm just too damned tired to play anymore

At the end of the day, when I've bathed away the dirt of the day, scrubbing my skin until it's a raw red, when I've washed away the evidence of my tears and ignored the sting of the cuts on my forearms or legs

At the end of the day, music is all I've got.

--

I'd like to thank everyone who has recommended to me an album or an artist. But most specifically mandevillegirl because she always comes through. ALWAYS.

Thank you all -- but especially you, mandevillegirl -- for the love songs, the sad songs, the happy songs, and all the others.