So it's that time of my life when I need to

decide what I'll be doing with my life.
The dreaded two words.

College applications.

I mean, who knew I'd be 16+ and having to stress over what college I'll be going to in a year?
Well, I am.

Now my dilemma is this: I want to do medicine so I can become a psychiatrist, for reasons previously stated here. But I can't afford $3.22 million dollars per year to do that, can I? And with these grades I got in my Unit 1 CAPE exams....I guess I have to kiss those scholarship dreams of my mother's goodbye.

So I have to be considering other options. The very sound of the phrase is ludicrous to me because, really, psychopaths are my passion. I have no other option because my heart won't give me any.

But to please my mother, and to not turn a total cruff after high school, I will apply for other things.
The easiest way to discuss them is using a list. Now I hate lists, but here I go.

1. Actuarial Science-- which is this.
        It pays a shitload of money. Admittedly, while my first ambition is to leave this society a better place than how I entered it, my second ambition is to make money. Not to be rich per se, but to not need to struggle to find money. Actuarial science does that.

2. Civil Engineering-- which is this
      One thing that fascinates me (and has done so ever since I was young.....er) is beauty. The science of beauty. the art of beauty. Making beautiful things. I'm a quasi-artist, but I want my idea of beauty to be real. I can't sculpt (never tried, but I don't think I can) so I'll just learn to construct pretty beautiful buildings.
      And it pays well too. :)

3. Foreign Languages
    Here I was all ready to type this part of the post in French, because francophilia but I reminded myself that whoever reads this speaks English only, and maybe good ole Patois. But still.
                                      J'adore le franҫais!
Spanish...I don't adore it, but I like it. One of my greatest dreams is to live in France. Any Francophone country will do, but I really, really, really want to live in Paris.
   This time, I really don't care how much it pays. I just love my languages.

So yeah...that's it. Dilemma one of many.
The sad/funny thing is I can't decide this one with a coin toss or "Who's coming next Punchinello little fellow". This is my life.

I think I need advice. Best friend, darling.... :)

@Jaye_Eccentriq