Saturday 11 November 2017

The Big Two-Oh

It's been exactly three months since I last posted here. It is strangely fitting that I start again on my birthday (although tbh the only reason I'm here is because I felt that the whole birthday thing deserves a post.)

Twen-teen?

A follower of mine, instead of telling me happy birthday, tweeted: "...you all adult an [sic] shit. Congratulations! You made it..."

I'd thought I became an adult at 18, with all the forms to be signed and the alcohol to be freely consumed, but I'm just now realizing it gets worse. It gets much worse.

I'd just like to say that I suck at celebrations. I also suck marginally less at birthdays. Last year all I did was get my ears pierced and spend a couple hours with the Village Taker. This year, the plan is to get my septum pierced, insult VT a little bit and go house-hunting after with Excelsior (remember him, guys? By some miracle, he's not tired of me yet so we're still friends). Maybe we'll buy alcohol and toast the fact that we are both inching ever closer to death. I dunno.

There's been improvement on my part though because I'm actually not going to spend the day in a "well-simmered stew of self-pity" (Norman, 2017.) Ya girl's gonna go out and people again. 

progress growth GIF by Insecure on HBO

I'm not sure how I feel about being 20 now. Currently I'm a little terrified cuz I'm a full-fledged adult now, no longer a teenager, which was part of my identity for all of seven years. But I have 364 (I think; I just pulled a number out of my ass) days to get used to being 20. So I won't sweat it.

Old Jokes, Sentimentality and Name-Calling

Old jokes. Yes. Made by my mother and grandmother (who are 38 and 74 respectively). My mother has been calling me " mi old & barky gyal" for almost a month now. My grandma called me this morning laughing her ass off at her "old granddaughter" and how I soon get arthritis and shrivel up like her...

Hello? Lmao. No. I doubt I'll live long enough to shrivel. But that's a thing for another time. No negativity.

My closest girl friend (I'm calling her MoBae because I'm corny like that and she really is bae) got the ball rolling on the sentimentality.

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No lie, I actually teared up a little. I've never met her mum and she's saying she's supposed to keep me. My heartttttttt.

And this from the Taker of Villages, Memelord Extraordinaire and Supreme Pussyole himself, which means all the more because he rarely ever says this:
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Miss mandevillegirl she bout "happy birthday germsyyyyy" and camouflaging it with heart BIH I SEE YOU (but thanks, you succubus you)

A broom (don't ask, please) expressing his undying love for me by proclaiming me a "bloodclaat wicked gyal" - I'm not a "bloodclaat" anything. I'm just a regular wicked gyal, thank you very much.

It means a lot to me, y'know. Honestly. Like I'm actually visible. Thanks, guys. I mean it.

Conclusion? This is going on too long now

So. Yes. I'm a fully grown (at the great height of five feet and an inch) adult now. Ha.

Twenty years isn't much of a long time in the grander scheme of things, in my view, but here's to me getting to that milestone. And here's to me getting to more.

leonardo dicaprio smiling GIF

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