I was reading an article I found on the Huffington Post website, and

I have learned (again) that I am an introvert.

The article is entitled 23 Signs You're secretly an Introvert. You probably may not read it, so I'll just list the points.

1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.

Yup. If you ask me to "tell me about yourself" I can't answer. Or "how's the weather" or "lovely weather we're having" or....when I'm at church, and it's greeting time, and I'm apprehended before I get to go outside and someone grabs me and says "God bless you"
My response: Plastic smile. And I walk away ASAP. Sooner, sometimes.

2. You go to parties-- but not to meet people.

I don't go to parties. Mostly because I'm not allowed to, but I wouldn't go even if I could. It's not xenophobia. Seriously. It's not.

3. You often feel alone in a crowd.

Do I even need to say anything more?

4. Networking makes you feel like a phony.

Yeah, I get that I need to make "links" and have "contacts" so that when I'm working my life will be a bit easier but.......I feel like it's just a means to an end and.... I'm selfish and manipulative, but not that much.

5. You've been called "too intense".

"SJ yuh extra!" (Jamaican-speak for "You's an intense kid")
I know I'm intense. That's why my feelings and I don't get along.

6. You're easily distracted.

The worst part of this is I've a 160 IQ, which makes me a genius. So I can be in class, ready to learn and be productive, and I do that for about 5 minutes and then..... "Can I go to the bathroom please?" And I trod the school, gaze a little, commune with myself and return in time for class to be dismissed.
I can be having a gazebo convo and in the middle of it I just leave cuz it's suddenly boring AF, or I just remembered a convo I need to have with myself.

7. Downtime doesn't feel unproductive to you.

Downtime is when I'm productive, actually. In the midst of the hubbub and chaos that is "uptime", I get overwhelmed and confused. I don't deal well with noise. It addles my wits and I get stupid(er)....
But when I'm home alone (like yesterday) I am happy and free and energetic.
 When my parents got home in the 6:00 hours last night, I literally felt myself sagging with exhaustion. I can't wait until tomorrow when it's me-time again.

8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with them after.

I have been in the public eye before, for an extended period of time, so I know what it's like. Being me, the having to talk in front of even 5 people makes me nervous, much more 500. It's stressful, but not as much as the mingling. Trust me.

9. When you get on the subway (taxi for us Jamaicans) you sit at the edge of the seat, not the middle.

I sit at the front of every single taxi I take. If I can't get a front seat I'm not taking the taxi. Simple.
 Except when my patience runs out and I jump in the nearest taxi that's leaving. [Not about to leave. Leaving.]

10. You start to shut down after being active for too long.

This is one reason I come home tired from school every single day.

11. You're in a relationship with an extrovert.

Yes, if you can call it a relationship. Iceburg the type of guy who, when we're walking on the town, sees everybody he knows and calls yells across the street "Yooo mi chargie wah gwaan?!?!"
I'm the type of girl who, when we're walking on the town, sees everybody I know and says to him, "If dem cyah see me mi nah call to dem enuh. Come, hide me. You tall."

12. You'd rather be an expert at one thing rather than try to do everything.

Maybe that's why I want to do a medical specialty rather than be just a GP. Idk. Maybe.

13. You actively avoid any shows that may involve audience participation.

Because really, is anything more terrifying?

14. You screen all your calls-- even from friends.

I don't answer calls, unless they're from my family, and only because they are my family.

15. You notice details that others don't.

"That design, guys.....I like how it is, especially the way they hid the flower in the middle."
"SJ...........you alone seeing this enuh."

16. You have a constantly running inner monologue.

My favorite conversation partner is myself. No one understands me like I do. :)

17. You have low blood pressure.

Actually it's normal but whatever.

18. You've been called an old soul-- since your 20s.

I'm in my teens still... but my grandma likes to say I have "an old soul in a young body"... Maybe that's why so many people believe in reincarnation?

19. You don't feel "high" from your surroundings.

No, ok? Just.....no.

20. You look at the big picture.

I try to, and I succeed most of the time anyway.

21. You've been told to "come out of your shell".

So fucking many times though.

22. You're a writer.

Clearly :)

23. You alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity.

Maybe that's why some days I just randomly retreat from everybody at school and enter silent mode.



Sooo.......big up Huffington Post for the article, and big up mandevillegirl who linked to it in her post. Y'all the real MVPs.

Introverted-ly,

-me.