Yes. I have resurfaced (however momentarily) from the mires of UWI life.
DISCLAIMER: the title of this blog contains the word "ramblings". These thoughts of mine are literally in no semblance of order, and as a symbol of this i shan't be proofreading a single thing.
So...after a semester here I've watched myself change. Sure, they say change is good and all but now it's still a bit difficult to look in the mirror and actually like what i see there.
There is usually some sort of smile on my face but God bless the one person who looks at me regularly and says "SJ you need to smile more...and i mean actually smile."
I'm usually around a lot of people these days. Stick around and I'm sure you'll learn how i hate being around people most of the time. How many of those i spend my days with notice? Probably just one.
Not that I'm seeking attention. I guess this is the side of me that kinda wishes i was still in high school where life was relatively easy and my friends were all in one place.
Lol. But... (and this is how i know I'm a contrary woman)
I like being in uni. I enjoy the freedom i have here to be myself. I like not having to explain myself. I like the people I've met here (s/o to the Creed)
Change of pace, change of mindset, expanding headspace. I learn to appreciate that you might be competition and not help. I tolerate things easier now.
Yes, on the inside I'm still that little brown girl who loves to listen to Imagine Dragons at 2am when everyone is asleep. I guess it's just that now I'll always be listening to Smoke + Mirrors with a smile on my face.
Still that little brown girl who likes hanging with one or two people, just discussing our dreams. Just that the one or two people aren't the same as before.
Still that little brown girl on the edge wondering if i should jump. Just that now my vision is a bit sharper and i can see part of the outcome.
That's what's important, isn't it? I'm still the little brown girl.
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