07: Write 30 interesting facts about yourself

Disclaimer: I did say I probably might not do this in order. So if you're catching feelings because you were looking forward to hearing about my relationship status and how I feel about it....tough shit. You just gotta wait some more.

30 interesting facts about myself, they said.
I can give you 30 facts about myself. I'm not so sure about the "interesting" part.
Here goes.

Aaaaaand I just caught myself with my head in my hands. I really do suck and talking about myself. Let's try again.

1. One of the items on my bucket list is to lather my whole body in butter, wrap myself in cling wrap, and slither around on the floor pretending to be a slug.

2. I'm a perfectionist. If I get over being a lazy-ass procrastinator and actually decide to do shit, it will be done well. Which is why more while I don't do shit, cuz it's gonna require energy expenditure...and I don't have much energy to expend anyway.

3. I like the idea of upside-down. So I eat bread from the ugly bottom part up to the crust, sleep upside-down on my bed, and slide out of bed onto my head and then flip over onto my stomach on the floor.

4. I'm actually really quiet, but on a great day you'll hear me before you see me.

5. If books could talk, I'd never even try to make any more human friends, and I'd never maintain the friendships I do have.

6. I'm kind of a misogynist, which is why I have mostly male friends (hey Excelsior, hey Jav). Except when it's period time (like now) when I say "Fuck men, all they gotta worry about is boners and we women gotta writhe in pain on a monthly basis!"

7. But I'm also kind of a feminist, meaning that I don't believe women should have to rely on men. Hashtag self-sufficiency, bitch.
[Funnily enough, my backup plan in case I fuck up academically is to find a rich man to marry. Hypocrite much?]

8. You know how some people think in sound, and others in pictures? I think in terms of both. So my thoughts have faces and sounds. [Except when my mother is nagging me and there's just the big ole dutty SHUT THE FUCK UP in my head. No disrespect if you ever see this, Mother.]

9. I've always wondered what blind people see. Like, do they see all white or all black? I'd ask one, but I don't know any, and it might come off as being insensitive.

10. I'm really straightforward. So if I don't like you, I'll let you know, not by actions, but by "Ayo I don't like you." [Quick anecdote: when I was in 5th form, there was a girl whose seat I sat in for Spanish class. We hated each other's guts. I knew she knew I hated her, and vice versa. But eventually we liked each other because we hated each other. Get it? I don't.]

11. I have a photographic memory. So I can tell you what happened the first time we met, what we talked about, how long we talked etc.....but damned if I can remember what you were wearing or who texted first.

12. I don't like the idea of math. I just like the idea of fucking around with numbers and getting other numbers and the process makes a weird sort of sense.

13. If I study abroad, I'd major in astronomy because stars are just really really cool to me. [In actuality they're really really hot but you know what I mean.]

14. I'm 16+, right? And I'm 5'2". But when I dress up, these random guys will be like "You 25? Cuz I'm 27 and I'm feeling your vibes!" Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm bitch I'm 16....

15. Continuing the age thing. I'm 16+. I'd only date guys 18-21. When I'm 17 next Tuesday (oooh, birthday post idea!!!) It's gonna be 19-22 only. At least 2 years my senior and no more than 5.

16. I have a thing for languages. I pick them up extremely easily. Maybe it's because of the whole Spelling Bee thing 5 years ago (that people still act starstruck over like it was this morning), but I do.

17. I'd like to read the holy books of all major religions one day.

18. I make jokes out of the most serious situations. Ebola? Joke. Chicken-gunshot Chikungunya? Further jokes. Except ISIS. Them I don't fuck with at all. They might end up coming after me.

19. I think blood and gore is cool. I once considered becoming a serial killer. [If police are reading this (highly unlikely): I'm not one though.]

20. I like when it's a slight drizzle and cold as fuck, so I can lie in bed reading. I also like when it's pouring so I can go dance in it.

21. I like Benjamin Franklin because he did the stuff I've always wanted to.

22. I like just randomly staring at people, because it unnerves them. Why? I read once that Scorpios have a piercing stare and I wanted to see if it was true.

23. If I meet a guy on the road, no matter how cute he is, if he asks me my name, I'm telling him Trishelle (a nuh lie). And if he asks me my number, I give them the police's.

24. I'd like to fly over Mount Everest just so I can kick snow off it.

25. I'm 15.5 years older than my younger sister. Meaning I could have had her if I were about that life.

26. I always wonder what "that life" is, and why no one is ever about it.

27. I suck at selfies.

28. I still roll around on Bubble Wrap.

29. Sometimes I want to be a kid forever, and then other times I can't wait to grow up.

30. I swear like a sailor. I've tried to stop and failed. Multiple times.


The end.

I've sat here for almost 45 minutes. I don't know if these facts are "interesting" but there are 30 of them, and they're all facts.
Toodles.

@Jaye_Eccentriq